To call at 7:03

Hi guys, it’s me, ‘Josh.’
Josh was my project, or experiment. 
After observing on Tumblr, I’ve noticed how most (I’m not saying all) girls won’t give a fuck about what you say on Tumblr, unless you’re a guy (or have been friends before Tumblr).
So, that brought me to this. Take my words, and put them in a guy’s mouth.
Voila!
You gave a fuck.
Suddenly my words were liked and spread, my feelings were sympathized, and I was under the impression that someone actually cared.
Which only broke my heart a little more, because it was painfully obvious that it was all sexist-based ‘care.’

“You don’t know that, if we saw your actual site, we would have cared too!”
Wrong.
I even followed some of you on my actual Tumblr.
No follows back. Not one.
But Josh got instant follows because of his face. He had a stupid, mediocre blog, but you all swooned over it.
The only posts that weren’t stupid, were my words being reflected and spoken through him.
The stories were just twisted Josh-versions of the actual heartbreak I was going through.
Hell, some of them were the EXACT same thing I had on mine.
No one cared when I said it, but god forbid we let little Josh’s heart break.

I want to feel bad for doing this, because I kind of do.
I just wanted to prove a point, and I did. So I’m done. 

I did grow an adoration for the ones that I did speak to though.
Besides the shallowness that I had to look past, I enjoyed all your company.
Thank you for all the kind words, thank you for being there for me, thank you for making me feel like I wasn’t alone.
I just wish you would have been there for the actual person, dying behind Josh.

I’d especially like to apologize for the hurt I may have caused my Lenda. You know who you are. I’m sorry. This is why I’ve been so distant from you for so long. I gave up on getting on this Tumblr account, it hurt too bad. And I really do care so fucking much about you. Those late night talks, the jealousy, everything, it was all real. I  meant it all. I don’t want to do this to you anymore. I know you have a lot of shit to deal with every day anyway, I didn’t want to make this one more. So hey, now you know. I hope you still keep in touch. And if you decide not to, well. Too bad. I refuse to not have you in my life.

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
I won’t post my actual Tumblr here. But if you want to start this over and really get to know me, just ask for it. I’ll keep this site alive for another week so this can be read by everyone, and anyone who wants to start over can ask for my Tumblr.

Again, I’m sorry.
Seeing how this experiment went, I shouldn’t be. But, hey, I’m just one of those people who actually cares about everyone I’ve associated with. So I am sorry.

Have a nice life.
<3 

Topless Tuesday, you scare me.
HA, NO NIPPLES THIS TIME, SUCKERS. 

(Source: dontteachmelessons)

heyni:

Blink ♥

In my bed, now.

(Source: theylljustwatchyoudie)